Investigating New Territory Through The World of Writing
At the beginning of this summer my family and I decided it was time to look for another faith community to fit our needs. It was an extremely difficult decision for me. For many years I have been wrestling with the lack of female leadership in my church. I’ve spent many hours justifying this. I often look to Mary, for guidance, strength, courage, patience. Growing up Catholic provided me a wealth of support I will carry forever. I don’t think many people in the dominantly Christian Reform Community understand the idea of prayer to saints and Mary and the pope in addition to Christ as a Holy Trinity. I believe my prayer life is richer within the context of being connected to so many spiritual souls I strive to emulate.
It took me a while to get my brain around the idea that leaving the Catholic Church did not mean leaving God. This summer I have tried to integrate my prayer life much more into my daily life. One thing I have been trying to do is appreciate God’s gifts through nature. For some strange reason, this idea started to take hold specifically in my sighting of butterflies.
I try to walk or ride my bike to as many places as I can through the summer. I’m not even close to being as dedicated to it as my friend Laura. She still has a baby trailer on the back. She now has the ability to go many places with the luxury of bike with a trunk! As I walked, jogged and rode around Bay View this past summer I spotted many butterflies. Each sighting seemed a reminder that my spiritual struggle was not going unnoticed.
I suppose anyone could be a skeptic or consider these brief moments contrived. Yet, instead I have used these sightings of butterflies as opportunities. They remind me how small I am. These private moments help me feel protected. The path of the butterfly is not straight. When the wind pushes, it simply uses its ability to fly in a different way to get to its destination.
Change is not easy. Staying where you feel the most comfortable is certainly the easiest thing to do. Growth takes struggle, persistence, faith. I hope I continue to grow in seeing my faith alive every day.